POM POMS! (AKA:The POOF experiment) EXPLANATION

Recently, Woody and I made the decision to stop spanking our children. We did not come to this decision lightly, and had been pondering and praying about it for quite some time.
I personally feel that spanking is an extreme punishment meant for extreme behavior. (i.e.: Blayke running into the road after being told to stop when we are on a walk.) We were to the point, though, that they got spankings for everything! I hate that when I would go near my 3 (almost 4...sigh...That is for another post...) year-old he would flinch. Talk about feeling lower than dirt. I want respectful, obedient children. Not fearful children. I truly believe respect manifests the feeling of not wanting to do wrong, even behind a parents back. I feel that fear just makes a child not want to do wrong in your presence. (I don't live under a rock, and don't believe for a second that my children wont do things behind my back.) My hope, however, is for them to respect their parents, themselves and the Lord enough that they don't want to disappoint any of us. (C'mon, I am allowed goals and hopes and such, right.....???)
So, we started brainstorming about how to go about disciplining...Of course, everyone has their own opinions, and this is a HOT topic. I read up on "Love and Logic", which is, in theory, wonderful. But I am too lazy for it. There are so many parenting ideas out there, that if you 'google' it, your head is likely to spin off your neck!!
So, I consulted the One that I knew could ultimately help me, and I prayed. (Probably should have started it this way, but I am a bit slow at times!) While cleaning later that day, I remembered, with His help I am sure, (I was impressed at how quickly I got my answer to this prayer. It is like he was waiting for me to ask..) my friend "A". One time, while at her house, she made her son 'pay' to get on the computer. I figured that he had to earn the craft pom-poms that she had him 'pay' with. I figured I could do that. So, I made a list of ways Cierra could earn the pom-poms. Later that day, I had a chat with "A" about her pom-pom idea, (She says it wasn't hers) and expanded on my list. I proposed the idea to Woody, and he likes. So here is our plan!

The POOF experiment

For things such as chores, personal hygiene, good behavior, manners, neat schoolwork, reverence during scriptures, prayer and Sacrament etc...the children will earn a specified amount of pom-poms. (Each child will have a list tailored to suit them). They can also lose their pom-poms. Misbehavior in general will result in them having to "pay" me. They will also have to "pay" for TV time. (So far, this is the only thing I abhor that they do. We aren't a video game family, so that is not a problem...yet.) At the end of each week (Saturday) we will take all 4 jars (my two, and each of theirs) and they get a quarter (Cierra) and a dime (Blayke) for every pom pom they have earned, even the ones they used to pay me. Then out of that comes their tithing. Once we figure their tithing, they will pay me for however many pom poms were in my jar. Then they keep what is left.
Our goals with this "POOF experiment" (I call 'em poofs) are: 1. Reward good behavior. 2. Discourage behavior that is less than it should be. 3. Teach the Gospel Principle of tithing through real life experience. 4.Offer the children to earn allowance as opposed to giving them an allowance. (It is my personal opinion that an allowance that isn't earned teaches children very little.) I think it is important that they pay tithing on every cent they earn. Before they pay me. I also feel it is important to hand them every bit of money they earn instead of just what is left in their jars, so that they really understand paying me. I feel paying me in MONEY will be more effective than paying me in poofs. (The poofs will be easier to manage than the coins though on busy days through the week.)
We plan on having an FHE lesson on obedience this Monday to start the 'Experiment'. Saturday will be their "Pay day" so that when we go to Church Sunday, they are ready to pay their tithing. Our next FHE will be on the importance of paying tithing.

I will attempt weekly posts to let everyone know how it is going. I am giving the 'Experiment' 6 weeks. If, at that time, it is failing we will reevaluate!

p.s. I have noticed a huge change in Blayke since we stopped spanking and I have tried harder to praise good behavior. I am sure that part of it is due to the fact that I pray every day for patience, and for them to be obedient. I also believe, though, that he will respond well to a rewards system.