1 month and 8 days ago, life got turned upside down and shaken up. I have spent the last month in a daze, desperately trying to feel "normal" again. Today, it HIT me... this IS the NEW normal. (no, not living at my Mom's, that is coming to an end very soon.) This ache I have, this feeling of loss.. I will have it for now and forever. It wont fade or go away, as some might suggest. I will just learn to live with it. It will become part of who I am. I am a person who lost a dear loved one. I am a person who has experienced a pain that can not be put into words. Just as helping to raise my nieces will become part of who I am, so will this. I have a feeling many more tears will be shed before then. I am sure the tears will continue, probably forever. Not all the time forever, but during times I feel she should be there. Times I miss her the most. But, I also know that with time, I will smile when I remember her. When I tell her daughters about our childhood. I look forward to remembering with a smile instead of tears. Grief is a process. A long, hard process, but a necessary one, nonetheless.
Now, onto updates. Just a few more weeks til we get our own place. I cannot wait. I am so thankful for the time my Mom and I have spent together. I love & respect her in a whole new way.
The 6 children in this house thoroughly amaze me. They are so strong. Every one of them have had their life turned upside down. Cierra is doing school each morning. Not in depth, basically just what is necessary to get by. These moves are getting more and more difficult on her as she is at the age she is developing relationships. She takes it in stride though. I adore her soo much. Blayke is really grasping reading. I finally gave up for a.while, and it seems to be clicking. When they are ready, it requires so much less work! He is also taking this madness iin stride. He is such a sweet boy. He always tells women how beautiful they are. From me to Aunt Amber to Grandma to waitresses to cashiers. He is so awesome! Konnor is such a funny kid. He loves superheroes and Power Rangers. He adores his older siblings and dotes on the three younger girls. Brayly amazes me. 6 weeks ago, she barely ever communicated. Now, she says words, is helping get herself dressed, loves to kiss on the babies and lives to destroy the house! The Babies (Havyn and Adalyn) are growing too darn fast! (3 & 2 months,.respectively.) They both smile and LOVE to babble, especially to Grandma. Havyn is a chunky monkey, and Addy is so petite. Havyn has started to giggle, and Addy just recently discovered her hands and feet.
The kids are all doing so well. I just wish they would stop growing so fast!!
The 6 children in this house thoroughly amaze me. They are so strong. Every one of them have had their life turned upside down. Cierra is doing school each morning. Not in depth, basically just what is necessary to get by. These moves are getting more and more difficult on her as she is at the age she is developing relationships. She takes it in stride though. I adore her soo much. Blayke is really grasping reading. I finally gave up for a.while, and it seems to be clicking. When they are ready, it requires so much less work! He is also taking this madness iin stride. He is such a sweet boy. He always tells women how beautiful they are. From me to Aunt Amber to Grandma to waitresses to cashiers. He is so awesome! Konnor is such a funny kid. He loves superheroes and Power Rangers. He adores his older siblings and dotes on the three younger girls. Brayly amazes me. 6 weeks ago, she barely ever communicated. Now, she says words, is helping get herself dressed, loves to kiss on the babies and lives to destroy the house! The Babies (Havyn and Adalyn) are growing too darn fast! (3 & 2 months,.respectively.) They both smile and LOVE to babble, especially to Grandma. Havyn is a chunky monkey, and Addy is so petite. Havyn has started to giggle, and Addy just recently discovered her hands and feet.
The kids are all doing so well. I just wish they would stop growing so fast!!
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